Apologetics for Philip Larkin

The countless motions of natures, characters in existential plays
That thread of Moires that throw one in pain another in arms of blissful mien
They fuck you up, all the karmic motions, aeons cycles eerie turns
Demons of decisions and other tricky phantoms,
They mean or mean not to, that’s how the worlds are,
Karma is more than a mortal may bear,
There are strings of fortunes you’re born into,
Those decided by fates, destinities, some by chance,
Most of them realized much too late,
They pass on the faults of universe, and the good things, too,
You think you add some extra, but if thou willst you,
You project determined crookedness upon the world,
If you never willed, you are an innocent man,
Like these Chinese madmen wise of Chuang Tzu,
No one ever shown me some ubermensch, a perfect woman, perfect man
Still I’ve found mirrors of notions of perfection once
When I was full of the Divine, one with the vast expanse of universe,
There I stood among the stars like a monument devoid of flesh,
Wings that carried me upon the Apollyon’s cosmic song,
Whispered only Divine harmonies’ elevated sounds,
It all abruptly collapsed, when I thought “wait a second, that is I”
I confused my mind, my flesh for the One.
When my spirit merged with unsaid and unbecome,
Silencing all that came into being, the particular microcosm
Becoming macrocosm for the field of Buddha is indeed samelike,
But grasp it keenly with a possessive mind,
And all wonders fall with a gargantuan sound.
Whether in great or evil times reborn,
Without pain sharing chalices of glory and gain,
Think twice before you fall for apparitions of this world,
It is merciless, rule of master plaything and underlet dog,
You don’t need that, you say?
Sooner you’ll be struck with awareness late,
Like all people of Saturnine age testify – with grief and sickness,
They attempted to detach from this illusion much too late,
Should I be a killjoy? Happy and free is won!
By shattering modern attachments, and cutting them away
With a Vajra scalpel – that is terrible ensouled pain.

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